I'd like feedback regarding King Jabin. The Bible only tells that he was king. Does his insertion into the story add or detract?
EXT. THE PALM OF DEBORAH - DAY
Small clumps of PEOPLE sit on the ground. Tents dot the hill around the Palm of Deborah. A BABY CRIES. Flies BUZZ.
Azubah, Tamar and Abby sit on the ground around Deborah’s table. Azubah holds a strand of her hair, twirls it, knots it, loosens it, repeats.
Perez paces. His voice drones as he reads.
PEREZ: Docket fifteen. A moved boundary marker. Apparently the plaintiff was injured on his own property, but the defendant moved the marker before it happened.
Tamar doodles on her tablet.
PEREZ: Sixteen. A bull gored the plaintiff’s son. The plaintiff slaughtered the bull.
Abby buffs her nails with the edge of her sleeve, examines them.
PEREZ: Seventeen, plaintiff’s iron chariot was vandalized. Sisera seeks remuneration.
The girls sit up.
AZUBAH: What?
PEREZ: You haven’t been listening. I made up the last three.
TAMAR: That’s not fair!
PEREZ: Come on, ladies, you weren’t being fair to me and you know it.
AZUBAH: You’re right, Perez. I’m sorry.
TAMAR: Me too.
Abby shrugs. Tamar pokes her.
ABBY: All right, I’m sorry, too. It’s just that it hasn’t been the same without Deborah.
PEREZ: A lot of people came a long way to have their disputes settled. We owe it to them to at least be prepared for when she returns.
AZUBAH: Besides, Abby, your father makes his trade off all these people staying in his fields. At least you get paid something.
ABBY: I don’t get paid.
AZUBAH: But ENOCH does. We don’t get anything.
ABBY: Isn’t working for Deborah enough?
Azubah stands up.
AZUBAH: You don’t know what it’s like to go hungry, do you? Do you?
Abby tucks her knees up to her chest, hides her face.
AZUBAH: Well I do!
Perez touches Azubah’s shoulder. She turns to him, lets him embrace her.
PEREZ: It’s okay, Zubie. Shh. (beat) Abby, you can cut the sarcasm.
Abby looks up. She is crying.
ABBY: I’m sorry, Perez. Zubie.
PEREZ: Forgiven. Zu?
Azubah sniffles, keeps her face against Perez’s chest.
PEREZ: Azubah?
AZUBAH: All right. I forgive you, Abby.
ABBY: Zubie, as long as we’re friends, you should never go hungry. Tell me next time! I can’t let my best friend go without.
They hug each other and cry together. An image of a horse drawn wagon flickers through the heat.
TAMAR: Guys, it’s Deborah! She’s coming back.
Perez gently turns Azubah by the shoulders.
PEREZ: Quickly, you two, go clean your faces. Let’s show her that we’ve been in good control, okay? Tamar, are you ready? Start the line up. Just the first five or six. That’s all we’ve got time for.
TAMAR: Aw, why me?
PEREZ: Because I can trust you. And because I said so.
Tamar giggles.
Tamar giggles.
TAMAR: I knew you were going to say that.
Tamar hurries toward the people. Perez’s eyes follow her.
PEREZ: A lot more I’d like to say. Wow.
On the carriage, Bennoam and his sisters look this way and that, pointing and grinning. Deborah has her eyes closed.
Lapidoth slows the horses.
LAPIDOTH: One would think the people could at least wait until you got home. How many are out there already?
Deborah opens her eyes, follows Lapidoth’s wide gesture.
DEBORAH: Hmm? Oh, look at them. My assistants have been faithful at their duty. I am so proud of them!
Noah leans toward Deborah.
NOAH: Is this Perez coming?
DEBORAH: Yes. And that is Tamar talking to those people.
NOAH: Where are Azubah and Abby? And how will I get them straight?
DEBORAH: Azubah is Perez’s sister. She looks a little like him.
LAPIDOTH: Except for the beard.
Stunned, Deborah gapes at Lapidoth’s humor. She covers her mouth and laughs.
DEBORAH: You’ll like them all. They are a wonderful team. They keep me young.
Lapidoth stops the horses next to Perez.
PEREZ: Shalom, Sir. Judge Deborah.
Perez helps Deborah out of the wagon.
DEBORAH: Perez, it is good to see you. I see you have kept matters under control.
PEREZ: Thank you, ma’am. We have heard preliminaries and indexed and prioritized them for you. They shall be ready when you are.
Perez turns to the wagon. He looks at Noah. Lingers.
DEBORAH: Perez, allow me to introduce you to Noah, Barak’s sister.
Perez finds his voice.
Perez finds his voice.
PEREZ: Miss Noah.
Noah blushes, draws her veil in front of her mouth. Perez extends his hand to her. She takes it. Lingers.
Noah blushes, draws her veil in front of her mouth. Perez extends his hand to her. She takes it. Lingers.
NOAH: Shalom.
She hops down. They maintain eye contact a moment longer.
Lapidoth clears his throat.
Deborah speaks.
She hops down. They maintain eye contact a moment longer.
Lapidoth clears his throat.
Deborah speaks.
DEBORAH: May I introduce the rest of Barak’s family? Attention please, ladies.
The sisters giggle but sit up straight.
DEBORAH: Mesha, Naomi, Sarah, Evie. And of course Bennoam.
Bennoam hops out. He bows grandly.
BENNOAM: Call me Ben.
PEREZ: Good to meet you, Ben. (to Deborah) But where is Barak?
DEBORAH: He has business in Naphtali and shall arrive in a few days. Where are Azubah and Abby?
PEREZ: I sent them on an errand.
DEBORAH: Good. That shall give Barak’s family time to settle. Perez, please beg the indulgence of the citizens for one hour more of waiting. I shall make haste to return. Come, Ben.
Protesting mildly, Bennoam clambers back into the wagon with Deborah.
Noah, looking briefly sad, turns to the wagon.
DEBORAH: Noah, if you wish, you may remain here with Perez and Tamar. Will you stay and meet the others?
NOAH: Thank you, yes!
PEREZ: Miss Noah, allow me to show you around.
He offers his arm. Noah accepts.
He offers his arm. Noah accepts.
DEBORAH: I shall make haste to return.
PEREZ: (to himself) If you must.
On the wagon, the girls chatter happily, mostly about Perez. Bennoam WHISTLES to drown them out.
Lapidoth speaks for only Deborah to hear.
LAPIDOTH: I must take a side trip before we go home.
DEBORAH: You must?
LAPIDOTH: Only to see Enoch. I have information about his niece Tirzah.
DEBORAH: Tirzah? What happened?
Lapidoth shakes his head.
LAPIDOTH: I shall tell you after the children have gone to bed.
INT. KING JABIN’S COURT
In Jabin’s court, the Master HORSEKEEPER, the Minister of FINANCE, PRINCE KIZAAH, Governor DESCIM and the Minister of AGRICULTURE speak in low voices.
Off in a corner, chanting to himself, stands a PROPHET of Baal.
KIZAAH: Gentlemen.
GOVERNOR DESCIM: Your Highness. I confess that I’m not looking forward to this meeting.
KIZAAH: Patience, Governor.
MINISTER OF FINANCE: Sir, with all respect, he’s been in a foul mood all week. I’m beginning
to worry for our own safety.
KIZAAH: Take heart. I shall remember the faithful when my turn comes. With your help, that time will be very soon. Master Horsekeeper, your plan?
MASTER HORSEKEEPER: Two hundred horses are secretly stabled in Manasseh. It is all I can spare without detection. I will need your corroboration about their illness.
KIZAAH: You have done well. Let us pray my father believes the ruse.
MINISTER OF AGRICULTURE: Shh, walls have ears.
Kizaah glances furtively. He nods.
KIZAAH: Quiet now. Here he comes.
Jabin’s SECRETARY enters.
SECRETARY: Sirs, presenting King Jabin of the Thousand Victories.
Jabin stomps to the throne. He plops down.
Sisera coolly follows him.
Jabin wipes his mouth with a red and white cloth.
JABIN: Be seated. Horsekeeper.
The Horsekeeper bows.
The Horsekeeper bows.
MASTER HORSEKEEPER: Sir.
JABIN: Your report on my dying horses.
MASTER HORSEKEEPER: O King, live forever. Any horse born with four white legs or totally white is sacrificed. We believe this is the source of the weakness and premature deaths of the horses.
JABIN: You believe? I need facts, fool!
MASTER HORSEKEEPER: My King, selective breeding is still a primitive science. It will take two to three generations of horses to be certain that the defect is gone.
JABIN: (shouting) We don’t have-
Jabin grabs at his chest, coughs. Kizaah is instantly at his side.
KIZAAH: Father!
JABIN: I’m fine. Sit down.
Jabin coughs frothy pink sputum into the cloth. He wipes his mouth, hides the cloth.
JABIN: (to the Horsekeeper) Now get out of my sight!
The Master Horsekeeper ducks away, knocking over a chair. He tries to right it, knocks over another.
KING JABIN: Get out!
Jabin coughs. Sweat trickles down his temple.
Jabin coughs. Sweat trickles down his temple.
JABIN: Finance, I will not hear from you. I have your report. I suppose economics is still a primitive science?
The Minister of Finance runs a finger inside his collar, wipes his brow.
JABIN: Don’t answer that. Agriculture, I’ve heard enough from you, too. Sisera.
Sisera bows low.
SISERA: My king.
JABIN: What is your plan about the chariots?
SISERA: Great King, may I suggest a rotation of chariots through the iron smith’s? We have seventy percent that are in accept– excellent condition.
JABIN: Sisera, I hate when you lie to me.
SISERA: Yes, my Liege. That is why I said seventy and not ninety percent.
JABIN: Very well. Prince Kizaah.
Kizaah stands.
KIZAAH: My King and Father.
JABIN: Faced with our economic and military conditions, what would you do? Is it time to declare war and wipe Israel off the map? Or should we raise taxes instead?
KIZAAH: My King and Father, after hearing
the realities from the secular consultants, should we not also hear from the spiritual consultants?
Jabin waves his hand blandly.
JABIN: Talk to me.
KIZAAH: Whether the spirit world is real or imagined, the King rules over a religious people. What the people believe and feel cannot be ignored. If the gods are real, perhaps their succor may be obtained.
JABIN: Just tell me what you would do in my stead.
KIZAAH: I wish to hear from the Prophet.
Jabin, eyes closed and head in one hand, waves his other hand.
JABIN: Speak, Prophet.
The Prophet seems to come out of his trance slightly. He HUMS a moment longer, then opens his eyes.
PROPHET: I saw stars shooting across the horizon, through Orion and through the Lion. It means war and annihilation.
JABIN: Annihilation? Now what do you say, young Prince?
Kizaah doesn’t falter.
Kizaah doesn’t falter.
KIZAAH: I would go to war. Wipe out the unproductive and useless sheep who call themselves Israel. Start with the north. Move the iron smith out of the sight of Israel so they don’t know our weakness. Repair the aging chariots in a rotation. Sacrifice the white horses as a symbol of purity and devotion. And as always, raise the taxes anyway.
JABIN: Very good. I would do only one thing more. Sisera.
SISERA: My King.
SISERA: My King.
JABIN: Imprison my son for treason and conspiracy against the crown.
KIZAAH: Father?
KIZAAH: Father?
JABIN: Begone! You shall never be king!
As Jabin lumbers out, Sisera quickly subdues the Prince.
CUT TO:
EXT. LAPIDOTH’S TENT - EVENING
Naomi, Sarah and Evie braid each other’s hair and chatter. Mesha traces words in the dirt: “Mesha + Perez.” She etches a heart, scratches everything out.
HOOFBEATS.
SARAH: It’s Barak!
They sprint toward him.
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