3
If a woman also vow a vow unto the LORD, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father’s house in her
youth; 4 And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath
bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her: then all her vows
shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand. 5
But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows,
or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the LORD
shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her.
In
the subsequent verses, the LORD covers the woman’s vow in various
circumstances. If she is married and her husband hears the vow and allows it,
she is bound to it. If he negates the vow, it is negated. The caveat is that he must make his decision
“yea” or “nay” that very day that he hears of it.
A
divorced or widowed woman’s vow will stand, just as a man’s would.
Please
don’t immediately reject this rule as outdated. It corresponds to the Biblical
roles of men and women and families. It further explains Biblical submission.
“Vow”
is [rdn neder],
from [rdn nadar].
Translated, it means, “to vow.”
In
verse 2, the man might nedar a neder unto the LORD, or swear [ebv shaba`] an oath [hewbv sh@buw`ah] to bind [roa 'acar] his soul with a bond [roa 'ecar]. Shaba` means to swear, adjure, make an oath or curse. Sh@buw`ah means an oath or curse. 'Acar means to tie, bind and imprison! 'Ecar is a bond, a binding obligation or
obligation.
With
the definitions in mind, look at verse 2 again. The man might nedar a neder unto the LORD, or shaba`
a sh@buw`ah to 'acar his soul with an 'ecar.
Now
look at verse 3. The woman doesn’t swear an oath. She may vow and bind her
soul, but she doesn’t shaba` a sh@buw`ah.
Sorry,
I had to pause because I was enjoying the phrase “shaba` a sh@buw`ah.”
shaba` a sh@buw`ah
shaba` a sh@buw`ah
shaba` a sh@buw`ah
Okay,
the moment has passed. I’m better now.
I
have no theological framework for this; I’m just commenting. Did women never
swear oaths? Later in verse 13, sh@buw`ah
is there and seems to apply to women. In that case, maybe the writer is
sparing us of the tongue twister in verse 3.
Have
you ever felt God directing you to do something and you felt immense drive and
desire? Was it to sell all you have and give to the poor or become a missionary?
Was it to give up sex and make your husband understand? Don’t go all defensive.
Perhaps you did hear from God. But if
you have a family, you have responsibilities. Take a step back and discern
whether it was a momentary sensation, a lifelong pattern, what the impact will
be on loved ones and is the timing truly this instant vs. some day when the
time is right.
Obviously
if a husband hears his wife say, “I vow to read my bible every day for the rest of
my life or may I die from some disfiguring disease,” he better negate that.
Sometimes one can get caught up in a moment and vow vows that are silly or life
changing. As a parent, if I hear a vow come from my child, I have roughly 24
hours to think about it and approve it or disapprove it.
Oh
boy, am I going to get myself in trouble if I say anything about the Silver
Ring Thing? Well, I am: Some kids are too young to understand when they make
that celibacy promise. Some kids may actually be making vows instead of promises. (I was such a zealot when I was a kid!)
In the case of avoiding premarital sex, simple obedience to God’s word is all
that is required. No soul-binding vow
is required.
As
parents, we need to be careful about pushing our children to make commitments
that may be binding their souls. I may know my child well, but I am not able to
get inside the mind of another human being to tell whether he’s vowing,
promising, or simply following God’s commands.
Please
understand that I’m not going against the Silver Ring Thing. Sex outside
marriage is sin. Period. If a child wants to wear the ring, it can be a
wonderful reminder and witness. I’d just ask that parents help their children
understand not just the sex part, but the intention/promise/vow part.
Moving
on, let’s look at the last line of verse 8.
8
But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she
uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the
LORD shall forgive her.
Here
is hope for the woman or child who would vow a vow unto the LORD. If the person
in authority refuses to let you bind yourself with a vow, then the LORD will
forgive you. You may have been directed by the Holy Spirit to make this vow,
but you are released from it. You will be forgiven.
15
But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity.
Verse
15 offers sobering words. With headship over the household comes
responsibility. Lest the husband or father think he can take such matters
lightly, he needs to be prepared to bear [asn nasa'] the iniquity [Nwe `avon] of his wife/daughter if the vow isn’t completed.
James
3 puts it succinctly:
3:1
My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater
condemnation.
There
is always a balance in Biblical authority.
Look
at that: we’re almost done with Numbers!
Shalom!
