As I wasn't part of the conversation, I said nothing. My inner reactions, however, were multiple and passionate. I am not a slender person. There was a time in high school when I was slender but never knew it because I was still "the fat kid" in my mind.
A few days later, I am still processing. Why was my reaction so violent inside me? The violence springs from two sides. The kingdoms of #WhoCares and #Compassion had assembled to fight for my heart.
WhoCares steps in first. It screams, "Who cares, you skinny wench?"
Compassion says, "Caution, Miriam, you don't know this ground as well as you think."
The conversation continues for several minutes. One woman has obviously never been overweight, one has always been fine, one has worked very hard and successfully lost weight and one, a little older, has learned something about loving herself.
WhoCares growls, "I have work to do! Shut up!"
Compassion knows I have work to do, but is silent. Why?
From the flank, the older woman speaks wise words to the first woman. Compassion touches my heart. "This is for you, too. Listen."
I don't want to listen. This is just like the people who counted fat calories back in the late '80's. WhoCares whispers, "You're sick to death of this."
Something inside me snaps into alertness. WhoCares just made a strategic mistake. I'm Pentecostal enough to refuse to say that I'm sick to death of anything. Although I still don't want to listen to their conversation, Compassion advances. Compassion's plan is to teach me and ready me for a future battle.
In the debriefing, Compassion unrolls a map. Before us, I see WhoCares is backed by a dark nation called Hatred. Hatred uses two covert commanders, Envy and Jealousy, to permeate the Media and Political Arena. They have two types of soldiers. The Haves are beautiful, wealthy, successful, talented. The HaveNots are angry and range from impoverished to wealthy. They have their own talents and beauty, but this is not the source of their power. They are blind. Blindness keeps them angry enough to prevent them from seeing their own value. Their anger is both seductive and terrifying.
Compassion points to the map. Compassion has many allies. Unfortunately, the allies seem disorganized in the current war. A delegation from the nations of Truth and Wisdom has just arrived. Their code name is Project Discernment.
I feel a thrill in my soul. I'd heard talk of a secret weapon. The leader of Discernment puts his arm around me. He slips a key into my pocket.
"This key unlocks the prison of Fear of Rejection. When you are skilled in its use, you will one day be able to release prisoners of Hatred."
I feel its weight against me. "When do I use it?"
The leader smiles. "You will know. God speed, dear one."
He kisses my forehead. Then the delegation departs.
I withdraw the key. It is labelled "Unconditional Love."
