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Thursday, December 25, 2014

Don't Start With a Parrot

I want to talk you out of getting a parrot. Really.

I consider myself an experienced parrot owner. I'm not necessarily proud of how I got there. 20+ years ago, we wanted a pet but the landlord had fur allergies. We dropped a grand on a red lored Amazon. He was beautiful and full of personality plus.

Through spilled blood and junk food, Zadok and I developed an understanding and then a friendship. We had him through 3 apartments and even a cat. In Zadok's mind, the flock hierarchy went me, Zadok and then my husband. At the bottom was the cat.

When I say he had personality plus, I mean it. Zadok loved the shower. He'd ride on my shoulder as I walked around the neighborhood. His first word was "hello," which I got him to say by rewarding him with a sunflower seed every time he tried. Then he "hello hello hello-d" us happily. He learned to meow like a cat. I taught him to say "praise God!" which was harder for him. It sounded like a whistle with a honk. He would chase the cat and then laugh at her. And beautiful? He was gorgeous.

Then I went to night shift. His background screaming became unbearable. He actually had been screaming all along. We'd screamed back at him, which would limit it for a time. But I couldn't scream at him when I was trying to sleep. We found a new home for him. The lady lived on a farm. She once taught a cockatoo to stop swearing by filling it with good words. It sounded like a match.
I was very sad and my pride took a huge hit, but we decided it was for the best.

Years later, a friend had adopted a greyhound. He was too much the predator her little Senegal parrot. We offered to adopt this sweet, quiet birdie. Sonny was not as personality packed as Zadok. He liked to be on my finger, liked my shoulder, though. He also liked to chew any wood he could find. The landlord made us get rid of him. Again, we found a home, this time with a person who wanted a quiet companion.

Fast forward to our current era: new landlord, same rules. No dogs or cats. The dog lover in me ached for a companion. It ached for an animal for our son to raise and nurture. He had done well caring for a parakeet. Was it time for another parrot?

I decided that if we were going to go the parrot route again, I was going to be prepared. Although little Keekee the parakeet was always a caged bird, I began to sit with her with the cage door open. I'd speak to her, whistle, make kissy sounds. I'd hold a couple seeds in my hand until my hand went numb and I had to put the seeds back into her dish.
And so Keekee, the 10+ year old parakeet, began to change. Or rather, I did. I guess we both changed. She began to greet me, with little kissy sounds. Then one day, she pecked at my hand. It startled me, I dropped the seed and I scared her. We kept trying. I realized the peck was probably what I'd seen parakeets do to each other at the pet store. It was social behavior! I was heartened and kept trying.
Keekee never made it to my finger. In fact, she died, but I was with her when she did. My son sadly said, "Maybe I should have taken better care of her." Maybe I should have.
Out of curiosity, I looked up the life expectancy of parakeets. Wow, Keekee was one old bird! I reassured our son that he did take very good care of her.

When I was working with Keekee, I was also reading. I devoured "Bird Talk" magazine. I bought and actually read books. With my current knowledge, I am dismayed by what I didn't know. In fact, we might never had had to re-home Zadok, had I done things differently. I knew nothing about screaming, about bird dominance, about food choices. I can only shake my head and forgive myself.

I very much wanted a Goffin's cockatoo. The happy dancing bird at the pet store won my heart. I kept reading. I decided against the Goffin's. I love the beauty and intelligence of the African grey. I remember how sad I was when the famous Alex died. I kept reading. I decided against the African grey. I didn't want a big parrot that could remove my child's finger, but I didn't want a smaller bird. (I now believe there is no such thing as a "starter bird.")
The caique seems to have all the personality of a cockatoo in a smaller body. I kept reading. Caiques often enjoy several family members rather than latching on to only one person. I kept reading. They entertain themselves and seem pretty trainable. I checked out the caique forums.
We decided.
We found a breeder.
We bought a sweet tempered white bellied caique.
Skipper came home with us.

Why do I write all this? Forewarned is forearmed.
Having a parrot is NOT for everyone. Parrots should never be bought on impulse. Parrots cost a heap of money and you may end up giving away your bird after spending $2-3K. Parrot bites HURT. Parrot shrieks are ear splitting and may turn your neighbors into enemies. Parrots are destructive and astoundingly messy. Parrots are not domestic animals. They are prey animals who live in fear. They also live forever, unless they die suddenly from inhaling teflon or scented candles.
You must NEVER EVER think of your parrot as your child. Please don't call yourself "Mommy." It is a wild animal. It is incapable of human emotions. It is the human's responsibility to become part of the parrot's flock. It is your job to learn the parrot's language.

Although parrots don't really live "forever," I am dead serious. If you are single but hope to have a relationship one day, DON'T get a parrot. Parrots are very sensitive to change. If a man comes into your life, you may have to choose between the two. If your sweetheart has birds, DON'T get a parrot. The birds may get each other sick or even hurt each other irreparably. Some parakeets carry a germ that can kill a larger parrot.

Here is a checklist of considerations. I'm not trying to be snotty or supercilious. I want to spare prospective bird owners heartache by learning from my mistakes.

1. Are you emotionally stable? Are you prepared to invest in a creature that may never be warm and cuddly?
2. Do you have a solid block of time every day for training?
3. Will you live longer than your investment? For example, if you are in your sixties, I strongly suggest against a bird that will outlive you.
4. Can you afford the cost of cage, food and vet bills? (Ka-ching!)
5.  Will this be your only pet? My cat sent Zadok to the vet. (Ka-ching!)
6. Is there a nearby veterinarian who is comfortable treating birds? It's not easy trimming your own bird's beak and nails without help.
7. Do you handle the unpredictable well? If you are nervous, guess who's more likely to bite.
8. Can you tolerate noise, either ear splitting or repetitive?
9. Do you have a bird friendly helper so you can go away for a few days?
10. If you have a significant other, does s/he also answer the above questions with "yes"?

If you can honestly answer yes to all of these questions, then begin your homework. You'll still need to choose a breed that will work for your life situation. I wish you the very best.

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