On Tanning Part 2

   I'm not a veteran tanner by any means. Even so, here are answers to questions you didn't know you had until you were locked in that mysterious tube.
   I didn't know you can open your eyes when you have the goggles on. During my first tanning session, I kept thinking of the Scorpions album cover, the one with the forks.
I recommend ear plugs. They blocks out other tanners' music and reduce the noise of the cooling fans to a less bothersome thrum.
   I prefer standing while tanning. It might not be as relaxing, but it does provide more coverage and you can move around a little more freely. Shucks, it's only for 8 minutes, less time than that between the the snooze button and the alarm.
   On my 4th visit, I sensed a "don't let this happen to you" warning. The attendant, otherwise quite pretty, was over tanned. I don't think one's lips and chin shouldn't be the same color - at least not in 2014.
   By my 4th visit, I knew the routine. Goggles on, earplugs in, I went into my tube. I dared to peek through the dark lenses. My bare legs looked pretty cool in tinted ultraviolet. I then shut my eyes again. I could hear my mom's famous words, the words she said when I went to a ninth grade birthday party (one of the parents was a local policeman), the words she said when I flew across the country with my new husband, the words she said when I told her I got myself a scooter:
"Just be careful, dear."
   In the warm artificial breeze, squinting my eyes shut under those goggles, I thought my mom would be pleased. She may never admit it, but I think she enjoys knowing her daughter is embarking on these mini-adventures. Sometimes I think she would be right there with me, in her own tube.

On Tanning part 1.

   I'm not sure what's come over me, but in the last 5 or so years, I'm trying all sorts of new things, from blogging to yarn crafts. I've decided that it is great to be a "newbie."
Presenting <insert trumpet fanfare> the TANNING NEWBIE.

[I can't resist a grammatical notation: in the context below, "like me" is correct; "like myself" is incorrect.]

   For self restrained and modest people like me, one must develop a bullet-proof rationale in order to do something as frivolous as paying money to lie in a funny tube and risk sunburn, cancer and <insert dramatic music> PREMATURE AGING.

[I think I just gave away my demographic.]

   What was my rationale? I haven't been on a vacation in 5 years and I wanna look good, dang it!