Nu 14-15: Frustration

       News flash: Miriam has an opportunity to practice what she preaches.

       Over the last week or so, I have been questioning whether my Bible blogs are merely intellectual exercises. Have I grown spiritually as a result? Have I helped my readers any? Sure, it’s a good discipline to do this, but what’s the fruit?

       What do you know? I got my own opportunity to grow up a little more. In a way it is humorous because of my previous post. No, I hadn’t sinned. I did, however, have great opportunity to get all frustrated, which could have led to sin.

       Frustration is a funny sensation. You want something, but you don’t get it. You get angry, but you know you’re not supposed to be angry. Frustration invites Fear to come party with it. The Tempter starts baiting you with “this always happens to you” and “you’ll never get what you want” and “you should take matters into your own hands.” Unchecked, even hatred can waltz into your heart through the door of frustration.

       Wait a minute. Wasn’t that what the Israelites’ thinking ever since they left Egypt?

       As I pondered my state, I found the irony of my Numbers commentary juxtaposed with frustration rather funny. The more amusing it grew, the more polarizing the Enemy’s injected thoughts grew.

       I recognized what was happening. I repented and asked God to please help me through the frustration and to help me trust Him for His solution. The LORD hasn’t brought me this far in life to slam a door shut in my face. I’ve learned a lot about waiting in faith. I’m getting so good at waiting, I hope I don’t miss the opportunity when it comes. Maybe we’ll see a solution for that in Numbers or Deuteronomy. No worries.

       If any of you dear readers are struggling with frustration, think of what the psalmist says:

       Psalm 131:2 Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child.

       I don’t know about your experience with weaning, but I remember trying to help a child graduate from the bottle. Talk about frustration, for both of us. You think it’ll never end. Then, finally, success and calm and pride.

       In a way, I got weaned today. When I booted out Frustration, the Fear and Anger shriveled up. Thank God that Hatred couldn’t waltz in. No doorway, no legal territory.

       I have spent several days discussing Numbers 14. Know what the next chapter, Numbers 15, says?

       15:1 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

         2 Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When ye be come into the land of your habitations, which I give unto you,

       When you come into the land... which I give unto you....

       Clearly this word was for Moses and the children of Israel. Yet, somehow, it is a word “in season” for me.

       My soul is even as a weaned child.